Before I came down with symptoms in 2006-
I was 22.
I loved playing with my toddler nephews, playing soccer, going on crazy activities with my family. Things were pretty “normal”. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
Now at 31–
With my diagnosis, it’s clear that everything has changed. No matter how hard I try not to let RRMS take control of me- I know I may not win. No matter if I believe I am Batman (and I do believe this… 24/7), my reality is that I don’t have a normal life.
My nephews, who are now pre-teens, are well aware that if its 92 outside; I can’t be outside. They know if I’m asleep on the couch at 2:30 in the afternoon, it’s fine. They believe it’s normal. They don’t understand the depression and pain, but they know this is who I am.
What is normal for us may not suit others. I’ve lost friends and I have no idea why. It makes me wonder if they were even my friends to begin with. I sometimes believe they don’t know how to talk to me anymore- but that isn’t a reason to abandon someone you called a friend.
Time to adapt to the “new” normal.